Love

[D-Dan]

I’m 54YO now. When I was 16, on a family holiday in St Agnes, Cornwall, I met a girl from Cardiff (I’m from oop north), and we “dated” (though it wasn’t really dating, because, y’know, a couple of hundred miles, at least) for 9 months. My Christmas present that year was a return ticket to Cardiff, where I spent a glorious week.

Fast forward a few years to when I was engaged to another – least said the best, and we met up in Chester for a day, and said goodbye forever.

Fast forward a few more years, both married and divorced, and we met up again, lived together for 4 years, and then it, once again, came to an end.

Now, 2019, March 11th, she’s due to arrive for a visit for a week. Some time around 14:00 – 15:00. I’m a little excited, and hopefully, before she leaves, I can finally get a marriage proposal accepted.

I’m a little excited.

Arch Linux, on a Ryzen 7 1800X, 32 GB, 5 (yes -5) HDs inc 5 SSDs, 4 RPi 3Bs + 1 RPi 4B - one as an NFS server with two more drives, PiHole (shut yours), Plex server, cloud server, and other random Pi stuff. Nice CoolerMaster case, 2 x NV GTX 1070 8GB, and a whopping 32" AOC 1440P monitor.

[JayCeeDee]

Brilliant story – and if she accepts, she can’t say you won’t be in it for the long haul.

Are you as resilient (aka stubborn ) about everything else in your life, or is she just a shining example of persistence??

Good luck. ??Don’t suppose we’ll be seeing much of you on here for the next 7 days then!!????

[The VFM Addict]

When it comes to relationships I have always found fortune truly does favour the brave.   Go for it, matey, and good luck.

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During the Covid-19 Epidemic I will be wearing a mask and goggles while posting so that if I become infected I won't spread it to you.

[D-Dan]

Thanks, guys. I’m currently in ultra cleaning mode. As for stubborness, sometimes, something, or someone, is worth persevering for.

Bravery has never been my thing, but bullet biting time, I think. Time and life is running out.

And as a bonus – the sun is shining 🙂

Arch Linux, on a Ryzen 7 1800X, 32 GB, 5 (yes -5) HDs inc 5 SSDs, 4 RPi 3Bs + 1 RPi 4B - one as an NFS server with two more drives, PiHole (shut yours), Plex server, cloud server, and other random Pi stuff. Nice CoolerMaster case, 2 x NV GTX 1070 8GB, and a whopping 32" AOC 1440P monitor.

[Richard]

I can only wish you good luck, a fragment of sorrow for what has passed and hope for the way things go. I am certainly not in the business of giving advice, it is far too personal a matter.

[Bob Williams]

Go for it Dan! Love is love at any age, I am still bonkers about my missus after 30 years. We met and got together at 41 and 42, married within months. All my previous relationships went TU: some my fault, others well, less said and all that. We made a decision, based upon previous experiences, to share everything but give each other space. Then we made another: to agree to disagree. EG: my Gert voted Leave, I voted Remain, but we didn’t discuss it, it has nothing to do with our marriage and AFAIK she has not changed that choice.

We met as a result of Gert placing an Ad in a local Free paper: “Lady, 41, wishes to meet gentleman.” Just that, nothing else. Among all the flowery self-descriptions, it stood out. “This lass is not messing about,” I thought “she is a straight one.” Turns out that after her divorce, with two kids to bring up alone, that was all the words she could afford. When she admitted that, I knew there was something about her. We fell in love within days, after the first date in July 23rd 1988 we married on August 5th, 1989. This year we are on a river cruise for our 30th. We have endured both having disabilities and my cancers, her increasingly painful osteo arthritis and horrible marriage break ups for both son and daughter, to name just a few problems over the years. We are stronger for all that.

I wish you the very best of luck mate, and ultimate happiness. Go with the flow!

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Les.]

D.Dan, my father was about your age when he met my mother. He had been married, two grown up kids when he came home to find wife and gardener (shades of Lady Chat) in bed together. She had been “borrowing” from the shop till, so he ended up bankrupt at the time of the big recession. My sister arrived in ’35, my brother two years later, with me in ’41. Unfortunately my father died from a second stroke in 1952, my mother had a nervous breakdown shortly afterwards and remained hospitalised until her death in 1963. I had a (good, I thought) marriage of 12 years before she upped and away with a “friend”, taking my younger son, who I have only saw twice since, and not once during the last 30 years! A second, not especially happy second lasted about the same time, before a disastrous house move, and consequent financial disaster, had us separate then divorce. She remarried, happily I think, but suffered breast cancer, cured but later relapsed, passing away about 4 years ago.

But what of me? Ten years ago, I met Tamara via her daughter’s efforts, She moved here from Odessa and has been slowly screwing me to the ground ever since. By far my best one without a doubt!

D.Dan, you are still only a lad!

[Les.]

Bob, your first date HAD to be lucky, it was my birthday. Somebody has to have the good luck, but at least I had a Ducati 750 production racer at that time, A “Laguna Seca”.

Les.

[Ed P]

Good luck Dan!

One lesson from life that I have had Is that women love taking about themselves and get bored rather quickly if it comes around to you.

[Dave Rice]

Go for it.

[Tippon]

Go for it, and good luck 🙂

[Bob Williams]

Ed P wrote:

Good luck Dan! One lesson from life that I have had Is that women love taking about themselves and get bored rather quickly if it comes around to you.

Does not happen like that in our house, Ed. A long time ago, I used to ask my missus why she didn’t talk much about herself. She said that, apart from her divorce and the events leading up to it, she had a sheltered life. She loves to ask me about my own life and says that I have had such interesting times, she likes me to talk about it. Well, anyone who knows me, will tell you that I can talk for England when I get started!

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Ed P]

A rare lady Bob, she obviously has you completely sussed. One thing I know is that I will never understand women.

If I get SWMBO talking about (say) a shopping trip, it will randomly flip threads and I can never understand the linkage until much later. e.g. Shopping, she will suddenly flip to a Manc friend’s son.

The missing links for me were recent Irish(?) Letter bombs Brexit, IRA, Bombings, Arndale Shopping Centre. Manc friend and her family. It was not until well after the conversation finished I finally managed to pull together a plausible linkage chain of things buzzing through her head.

[Bob Williams]

My own SWMBO does have some traits that I find less than appealing. For instance, we will both listen to a call on speaker, after which at some point, she will tell me what the caller said, that we both heard: sometimes a week or more after the conversation, sometimes a few minutes after. Secondly, her explanations of anything tend to take many times longer than they should, due to her sailing off at a tangent into totally unconnected people and events. Much like your own experiences, I believe:

” If I get SWMBO talking about (say) a shopping trip, it will randomly flip threads and I can never understand the linkage until much later. e.g. Shopping, she will suddenly flip to a Manc friend’s son. ”

There is often a significant pause in her words, as her thoughts attempt to rearrange themselves into some sort of order connected to the original topic. I can almost hear the gears grinding. I long ago took my dad’s advice: “Develop a Poker Face son, show no emotion or expression. They take that as agreement with whatever they are saying. Never argue, it only invites trouble.”

I also developed my own way of dealing with female disagreement, adopted from my big brother. He used to say, “If you have a plan or want to do something or go somewhere, mention it to Middle Brother, mam’s favourite. He will throw it back to mam and she will adopt it immediately as a Good Idea. He will think he has done Something Good in mam’s eyes and you get what you want.” Very sneaky intelligent man, my big bro. I use that same plan now with my daughter, who will tell her mother whatever it is I am after, and I get back from SWMBO “Guess what our P____ says?” I have begun to recruit my 13 yo gdaughter into the same effort: she is quite sneaky intelligent and has sneakier better ways of addressing grandma. I love my girls….

 

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[The Duke]

Good luck. I was dubious at trh title give we a a miserable lot, and there hasn’t been much to celebrate in general for a good while.

Fingures crossed for you.

[Bob Williams]

Yesterday was the day, Dan, hope it went well. We won’t expect a reply for at least this week, in which case I think we all hope that no news is good news.?

Good luck!

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[The Duke]

I’ve been busy bob, must of missed it. A business opportunity come out the blue last week. it’s took over my life at the mo.

 

[Bob Williams]

Good luck with the new business Steve!

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[The Duke]

Cheers Bob. I’m gonna need it. Out of ones depth comes to mind.

[D-Dan]

Well, she’s gone home now 🙁 Fabulous week, and I think the renewed start. Hopefully, I’ll be over in Newport for a weekend next month.

It’s obvious that, no matter how many times things go south, we are destined to head north. We are realigning our compasses right now.

EDIT: But hell, home feels so empty now. God help me when I climb into an empty bed tonight 🙁 🙁

Arch Linux, on a Ryzen 7 1800X, 32 GB, 5 (yes -5) HDs inc 5 SSDs, 4 RPi 3Bs + 1 RPi 4B - one as an NFS server with two more drives, PiHole (shut yours), Plex server, cloud server, and other random Pi stuff. Nice CoolerMaster case, 2 x NV GTX 1070 8GB, and a whopping 32" AOC 1440P monitor.

[Author]

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