Forumite, Me & Going Forward.

[RSB]

As some know and others don’t I have been a carer for my nan for over 10 years now. Its one of the reasons I started selling websites and miscellaneous related services. It allowed me to be a full time carer and earn my beer money at the same time. I figured that I could earn more that way than I would receive claiming carers allowance. The equivalent of half a night out on the session. In the last month or so she needed help washing and going to the bathroom and so on and home help came out to do that once she left the hospital the first time round late February and to early in my opinion as she was taken back in 2-3 days later. Even the ambulance drivers and home help said she was not ready. Moving on to a week ago Saturday afternoon she passed away. I did not think it would upset me that much as I knew deep down is was coming and she was 81.

None the less it as mentally and financially gone south. Hence the lack of presence here even when we had the dating scammers. I just have not been able to face the place or do the website work I usually do elsewhere. I finally give in on Monday and went on to see the docs. He has put on Diazepam to chill me out a bit which as helped me get here now. I have always had some one to take care off one way or the other or at least lived with someone. My Nan always said I don’t cope well on my own but none the less this time I’ll have to just take it day by day and hope things improve.

As far as the Forumite is concerned I am unsure what to do with it yet. I may keep trying to push on with it hoping my mood improves, I may pass onto a fellow forumite or I may try and sell it on to some one with the same ideas and interests as me and the rest of fellow forumites and pay some bills which would be wise.

Ones thing for sure is I can not be sure about anything at the moment but I do know that for my personal & cats ? well being I will be pushing on and making some major changes.

But don’t panic, I’ll never let forumite  close or disappear. I have disabled registration as I can not be arsed with the scumbags. I have also had to waterdown the message/chat service as that was a paid service to. There are other things to but you will not have noticed them.

Anyhow, for now I’ll be back to tell more if and when I know more.

Americans: Over Sexed, Over Payed and Over here, Wat Wat!

[keith with the teef]

OK 🙂

[The Duke]

Lee, you koxw where I am of you need a chat etc.. I’m really sad for your nan, and know its not going to be easy you, I trully with you the best. There is little anyone can say in this instances that doesn’t come across as patronising. But I wish you well, and hang in there.

Forget about this place, I’m sure it can tick over as it is for the time being. Drop us a pm or email if you need or want to.

[Ed P]

Look after yourself, it is a tough period in life. You may want to ask about Bereavement Counsellors in your area, they are trained to help you get through this understandable depression and out the other side.

Heaven knows how they do it, I certainly know I would be useless at it, as I would at any of the other counselling roles.

[JayCeeDee]

Best of luck, Lee. The fact that you’ve got to this point is good to know. Something like that is never easy.

You’re doing the right thing, day by day, bit by bit and not pressuring yourself until you’re ready.

Take care – and as Steve said, if you need a chat, I’m around most of the time as well.

 

John

[PlaneMan]

Take care of yourself and the cats Lee, cats are great when times are tough, they give you a reason to get up and they are mostly very empathic.

Good luck.

[Dave Rice]

Sorry for your loss Lee.  You know you only have to ask if you want anything done.

[blacklion1725]

Really sorry to hear the sad news of your loss and that you are struggling yourself – wishing you all the best mate.

[Tippon]

Sorry to hear about your nan Lee. Try to remember that you’re not alone, we’re all here on the other side of the screen. If there’s anything I can do to help, please just let me know.

[johnbarry]

Sorry to here about your Nan, Lee and your struggle

Hope it works out all round.

Cheers
John

[Richard]

Very sorry to read of your loss, I understand it has hit you hard. Ed gave you great advice.It will take time to grieve and if you accept help it will assist you through the process and with any necessary paperwork.

I thank you for your time and efforts with the site.

[Bob Williams]

I just caught this Lee, so sorry about your nan and I think we all realised how much she meant to you. The Forum is a great service you created and run well, but it is not life. Whatever you need to do with it, you have at least my blessing and I bet the blessing and encouragement of everyone here. You are NOT letting anyone down: you rebuilt something from the ground up  that was dead and made it so different and better than it was. Now you need to look after yourself and take stock about the rest of your life mate.

Whatever you need to get off your chest, we are all here for you. Just don’t sit home moping, that doesn’t do any good, I’ve been there in that dark place, over 30 years ago. Have a good long think and make a plan for whatever you want to do next. Stay as cool as our cat:

Misty has Life cracked!

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[isdarit]

Sad times matey, looks like you don’t need to go through your troubles, alone enough offers of help on here from people who care. Hope things become easier quickly for you. The hardest part with coping is reaching out. May I offer my condolences and also advise to take the offers of help even if its just a chat.

[dwynnehugh]

Sad times Lee, I am so sorry to hear about your Nan and your health issues as well.  Time is a great healer.

Sadly I do not have the expertise to offer any help here except my thoughts and sympathy, if I can be of any use in any other way please contact me.  All the best.  Dave

The more you meet people the more you understand why Noah took animals instead of humans

[Boris]

Commiserations on your sad loss Lee.

Losing someone close is always a shock.
Make sure you give yourself time to grieve properly.

Wishing you all the best, with whatever you decide to do, …… and like everyone else has said, you know you only have to ask if you want anything done.

Never trust an atom - they make up everything !

[The VFM Addict]

So sorry to hear of your loss, Lee.   Over half a lifetime ago a very aged chap who drank in my local told us what he said was the Golden Rule of coping with someone’s passing.    His rule was so simple that I always remembered it and he was right because it has helped me whenever such has occurred in my life.   He said simply, “Remember the laughs, remember the good times and remember them often.”    I hope his words help you too.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

During the Covid-19 Epidemic I will be wearing a mask and goggles while posting so that if I become infected I won't spread it to you.

[Wheels-Of-Fire]

So sorry to hear your news. My Nan died 11 years ago and I still miss her.

[The Duke]

Coincidentally I woke this morning to my phone reminding me that it is my Nan’s birthday today. (or would of been).

[Bob Williams]

Can’t forget my gran’s birthday, it’s the same day of September as her son’s: my dad, and I still miss them both. Gran went in 1967, dad in July 1988. I last saw gran a couple of days before she passed, got a quick trip from Aden courtesy of the RAF. She was 89, had a hard life after 13 kids and coping with granddad, who led strikes against the Pottery owners but forgot to keep the family fed. Gran was in a Sanatorium in Stoke, lying in bed with dad sitting one side, me the other. When dad made a risky joke to cheer her up, she raised up and slapped him hard upside the head. Dad, in his 50’s, was shocked, I was hysterical.

Gran was born in a Romany caravan and spent her younger days in the West Country. “Oi told ‘ee afore, you’m never too old fer a good ‘idin!” She was something special, I know how you must be feeling Lee.

Should have been nicked for the unofficial AWOL trip, but we were short handed and it never happened.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Author]

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