Been there a few times over the years Lee. Pies and hot drinks not bad, as I remember. Football joke, courtesy of Billy Connolly:
At a Celtic-Rangers match, a drunken little Celtic supporter wanders into wrong end by mistake, finds himself surrounded by Rangers fans. After 19 minutes, Celtic score and he hears the fans around him growling, then one says “YOU! Fetch me a Bovril!” “OK!” he says.
“But first, gi’ us yer shoes, so ye come back.” He gives him his shoes, gets back. “Here ye are!” – gives him his shoes, giggling. There is human krap in his left shoe. “Wear it or I’ll KILL ye!” So he puts the shoe on. Celtic score again and another supporter asks him to fetch a Bovril, “But gi’ us yer OTHER shoe!”
He does as he is told, comes back just as Celtic score again, finds his right shoe full of the brown and smelly. “Wear it and F**** OFF!” So he wanders out of the ground. On the way home, he is stopped by a TV crew and interviewed.
“Sir, do you think football violence will ever end in Glasgow?” He looks at the interviewer with a pained expression and says “It will NEVER, EVER end! No’ as lang as they are S******g in oor shoes and we are P*****g in their Bovril!”
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.
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