Bloody cancer!

[Bob Williams]

I have been sending and viewing messages from a circle of us on Messenger, about the wife’s cousin. Now spread from his bile duct to his liver and he is going home for the last time. He is one of my favourite people and we were mates almost from Day 1. Ex-RAF ground crew, a little older than me, has done so much in his life, absolute patriot, walls full of genuine RAF oil paintings from the best artists, that he knew personally. Spitfires, Lancs, every aircraft you could name. When I first met him I said I was ex Army Air Corps, and next time I went down to see him, he had helicopters and other aircraft from my era, on his wall. His last business was Classic cars and I gave him several tips. Every time there was a family gathering, we seemed to gravitate to each other.

SWMBO is one of a circle of cousins and spouses who are devastated, the cousins were all kids together.

Horrible disease.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[blacklion1725]

Awful news Bob – it really is a terrible disease – and apparently one that would get us all if we lived long enough. Small comfort in your friend’s case that progress is being made on many fronts . Can only wish him, his family, you and his mates all the best. If there is somewhere after we shuffle off he will have a place at the top table.

[isdarit]

wicked disease. google rick simpson and go from there. its NEVER too late to fight. believe me it works. good luck

[Dave Rice]

My good mate Paul who does all the website design and hosting for my customers has just been told he has less than a year to live.

Bowel cancer that has already spread to his liver. He had a poo test 6 months ago that was clear.

[Anonymous]

I was recently tested for Prostate, that was clear?

My neighbour has cancer, she says if the chemotherapy doesn’t work she might not be here for Christmas, but says she has had a good innings.

[The Duke]

Well this is a heart warming thread. To add add more misery on this dark thread on Monday we was at my favourite hospital (Wrexham) [not] , while the wife had some more biopsies.

Oh the joys. Just shows the Big C can hit any one, any age, and can be be short or long. I’m not sure which one is better tbh! My ant went from full half to dead in under 3 months, my nan 18 months from lung diagnisis, (after kidney removal 5 years earlier). And the wife has been ill for a long time, her first hair loss, was 3 years ago. She shaved it off so its marked in the diary. But 2 18 months prior to that, she also had a kidney out.

Happy days hey!

Untill my nan got her first diagnosis in about 2008/9 I never encountered Cancer in my life. The last decade has made up for it.

To top the news of the day off, Im of the docs with my 9yo this morning. Just what I need, added medical  appointments to my week. Nothing serious though.

[Richard]

Dave, Sorry about your mate Paul, several in my family also went from colon cancer but they were older, about my age in fact. For some reason I have been very careful about those regular tests, so not so good news about Paul

On a slightly, but only slightly brighter note my wife had a melanoma that was a borderline grade 2 removed 25 years ago, it was caught in time and the surgery was radical enough to stop it. Her father was less fortunate, within 5 years he was gone from skin cancer. (A melanoma also did for the dog so it is not just humans who get caught.)

[Bob Williams]

I didn’t mean to depress everyone, sorry Steve I was not considering your predicament when I posted. Good luck to the Duchess.

I have also had experience of close family members passing on with the disease. Dad, Granddad, big bro, FIL, 2 nephews, the list goes on. Have to take 2x camera episodes a year myself for 2 areas of concern.

SWMBO’s cousin is at home and does not want us to see him atm. That’s good for Mrs Bob, I know what his appearance will look like by now, she doesn’t. They were very close and played together as kids. SWMBO says that he was the big bro she never had.

John (isdarit) : it really is too late mate, most of his organs are full of it.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[The Duke]

Don’t worry about it bob, it’s just part of life. The wife hates how people will do anything to avoid the ‘C’ word around her, thinking it will offend her in some way. Some people actively avoid her because they don’t know what to say. Then ask me how she is, and tell me they stay clear as they are lost for words.

It’s the Britishness in people, and generations of suppressing our emotions that make us like this (stiff upper lip…) . I’m probably the worst for that lol, I’m a master of suppression, or not caring as the wife puts it!

 

[Bob Williams]

Steve that reminds me of a mate that I first met at Disability College, he had MD and was in a wheelchair. 6’2″ of bulky Chesterfield lad, had been a manager of a car dealership until the MD really took hold.

His chair had to have a more powerful motor and bigger battery, he was a big lad! From our study room to the Dining Hall was uphill, a great sight to see me with a stick helping to boost about 20 stone of Derbyshire lump and big heavy chair uphill. He married the nurse he met when first in hospital: one day we were with them at a cafe and the waitress asked his missus what he wanted to eat and drink. ”  ‘EYUP DUCK, IT TALKS YER KNOW!” came from the chair. Mick had a little lad who I think must be about 25 or 26 now. Derbyshire SS had a lift built in his lounge, straight up to their bedroom and his purpose-built bathroom. One of the happiest guys I ever met, always cheered me up at a bad time in my life: “Smile you miserable Nottinghamshire bugga!”

Also reminds me to contact him again, it’s been too long. Hope he’s still with us.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Drezha]

Sorry to hear that.

Has he contact RAFA or the RAFBF for any assistance? I’m sure that’s why they’re their if needed. I donate monthly to the Ben fund and I’m a RAFA member so I’m aware that they do help out where needed.

"Everything looks interesting until you do it. Then you find it’s just another job" - Terry Pratchett

[Bob Williams]

All happened too quickly Drezha, but I should have thought of that myself, being ex-Army. I will pass it on to his wife, but atm she is looking after him at home with family asisstance. It won’t be long anyway now, he cannot eat and only sips water.

When I was first registered disabled, I got in touch with the Army Benevolent Fund. They passed it to the REME BF, who were absolutely useless. I was actually Army Air Corps, but it was in its infancy then, still being administered and trained by REME. We wore a powder blue beret with a REME cap badge: nowadays the AAC is much larger, a Regiment with its own cap badge and presumably its own BF. I actually got more help from REME Manning & Records, who administered pay & pensions. They put me in touch with Army Pensions, I received a Terminal Grant and a small pension. (Now administered by a private company). We were only able to keep our house thanks to that Terminal Grant.

REME BF sent a Staff Sergeant Clerk who had no idea what he should be doing. I didn’t criticise him, as he was so clearly out of his depth, but I wrote to the C.O, a retired Lt. Colonel. He advised me ‘off the record’ to approach Manning & Records.

It’s the MOD. You know how it operates. Or doesn’t.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[StevieP]

Steve, as a person who was diagnosed with a particularly nasty type of leukamia in December 2014 I can tell you that many people just don’t know what to say or how to deal with someone who has the disease. In fact many so called friends actively avoid me especially when I am going through a bad period. The biggest support I have are my family, who from the outset were told everything that I was, and the clinical team who treat me. All of them will give me a good kick when needed and support when it is required. In fact it is to their great credit that I am not popping anti-depressants like sweets because believe me like most other sufferers I have been to some very dark places over the last two and a half years. Not often but just now and again with many steps forward but also many steps back.

As for dark humour when my treatment started I was attending every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for up to ten hours for drips and drugs. On every other Wednesday two particular patients, Brian and Mary (names changed) and I would try and get treatment seats next to each other. Everything was discussed and normally laughed about, much to the discomfort of other patients, many of whom were in complete denial of what was actually going on in the ward. In fact many of the patients I started this journey with are no longer here.

I could fill this forum with the ups and downs of my particular treatment, as could most of the other patients but I am still here so for now I am one of the lucky ones. For how long I don’t know but while I am despite the bad days I enjoy the good ones as much as I am able to, but I must admit retirement isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

[Bob Williams]

Stevie P, my favourite uncle Joe had Leukemia, when the treatments of today were not available. The one thing uncle Joe had going for him, was his indomitable Potteries humour and I believe that was what kept him alive for two years more than the Doc’s gave him. This was in the early 80’s and I was travelling over to Staffs from Notts regularly to see him: he had a bed downstairs in his lounge on the side of a hill, so he could look out of the picture window over his hometown.

I remember him for his aviary when he was well, and the many birds he had. One night a terrific storm blew down the aviary wall and all the birds escaped. For the next few months, kids and others were bringing him budgies, canaries, parrots and cockatiels. “ah dunno,” he said “I must ‘ave twice as many now as I started with!”

But you’re right: people do seem to avoid you. My dad had many old mates, but when the Big C took him to bed, only two came to see him to the end. My big brother and my FIL had the same avoidance. Dad said to his two mates, “Tell ’em it ain’t catchin’ !” People would stop me on the street and ask – “How’s yer dad?” I would ask them to call and see him, he would appreciate it. Excuses were made and their eyes would drift away. I never criticised that, it’s just human nature I guess.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[The Duke]

Sad but true. I like to always find the silver lining, and I suppose in this case, you get to see who your real friends are.

[Author]

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