@sawboman
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oops some missing words in my message it should have read: ‘it very good at the roles I needed and for its time.
Some years back, about the time of that machine I made a great deal of use of Puppy Linux and found it very good at the and for its time. I have just checked it was on Puppy 2 in 2007
Nolan, the reason that I mentioned EDS was that it came as something of a shock and revelation to me. Having had a range of operations, a knee, followed by an ankle rebuild after an office accident and a month’s stay in hospital while that was sorted, a couple of spinal operations, one to let me walk again and the other to improve my use of my hands and turn my neck once more. It turns right OK but not so far going left when pain stops fun. Six hand operations; four have released fingers that became trapped in one position two were on the carpal tunnels to each hand to release the nerves. I wear compression socks to control leg swelling. Two cataract operations were wonderful for the benefits they delivered. EDS does go a long way towards explaining why I have had some of the problems I have encountered, though the ‘surgical list’ does not cover all aspects, such as stomach and urinary tract, both of which can be related.
On one point I can only agree, pain killers are falsely named and advertised. For me they are useless From paracetamol through the various steps to tramadol they are ineffective on me. Exercise can help, I walk from 3~7 miles on a typical day, though the most recent hand operation followed by a bruising but otherwise consequence free fall slowed things up. Twenty five kilogrammes of dog launched across the small road twisting and unbalancing me. My balance is suspect on a good day, that was not a good day!
Bob, I am sorry that your wife is having that awful saga. I have known several hip replacement cases, perhaps as many as ten or more. In all cases they have had the pain removed by the replacement having been told by their surgeons that was the objective of the exercise. Though they did say that other pains would not be affected. One person even had a replacement for a previous replacmeent that was broken in a fall. He was warned that it would be a long recovery process, but has been driving walking and improving since very soon after his latest replacement was fitted having made a rapid turn round.
I can only hope that the latest surgeon will be able to do the required repair/replacement to get your wife to the place she should have been before the previous ‘fitter’ did not get the job done correctly.
It is no compensation to you but my wife’s treatment continues with another round of the chemo tablets started this week, this takes things well into the second year. The long wait for the consultant was NOT livened up by seeing a parade of other people we had seen in their early optimistic stage of their treatment. All are now terminal and being treated for metastatic cancer. Perhaps none of the walking wounded needed treatment but a 100% failure rate was not a good result. I know others, Steve’s wife also face long treks through treatment issues and in his case with a young family being impacted. That is a far from pleasant load to carry.
My wife’s consultant spoke of research projects into immunotherapy trials and asked if she would be interested.
After seeing so many whose hopes dashed I wish all who face such issues hope for a breakthrough.
Yes Bob, that kit is expensive and needs to earn its keep, both my wife and I have had similar out of expectation appointments. Let me put it this way the hospital is more like a ghost town early on a Sunday or bank holiday.
@PM, Nolan I think; I have just come back from an interesting appointment with the physio with whom I had a round about discussion. I said that many years ago the surgeon who tried to fix up my knee suggested that I had loose joints and they were more likely to fail than the bones were to break. The physiotherapist checked my hands, (which was why I was there) and said yes you are a prize example of joint hypermobility. When I said about hip joint pain and the sonographer’s report outlining abnormal tissue thickening, she mildly queried the diagnosis as there is soft tissue damage in the joint that can cause the same issue of thickening. I see you have something highly similar. Anyway she suggested I follow up Elers Danlos Syndrome or EDS. You might get a surprise at how many overlaps you have with that condition. Certainly it gave me food for thought when I checked it out. Now I wonder how to get some action, it is an inheritable condition which made a few other pieces drop into place on my life board.
Well WoF, no vaccinations, tedious airports, nasty Irritation services, etc. what is there not to like with your present deal?
I am only getting pratts call on the telephone; for some reason they do not get on very well with fractured Japanese greetings that might contain the odd bit of Arabic in all the wrong places.
Still, please keep the world from my system, you are doing the rest of the world a real service!
I was given Amitriptyline a while back but did not find it that helpful to assist with sleep, but recently my wife finished up my old stock before starting on her own supply for similar issues to yours. She really finds it helps her with sleeping and has been getting through the night for the first time in several years without pain waking her.
I have said before that many drugs are highly selective and personal when it comes to how effective they are. Some pain killers will knock some out, make others high as kites but have no useful effect on others. Tramadol stopped my stomach but did nothing else, strong sedatives sent eldest daughter bat-sh*t-crazy when she was small in a did not try this at home but in a hospital event.
Getting the right thing for you is always going to be a slow titration process, also known as suck it and see.
Hope this one goes well for you.
I was sorry to hear that, it would be the last thing you wanted. A failure to treat and side effects like those. Get hounding the GP (in the nicest sort of urgent way) as clearly you need a better option. Those issues all appeared very much related to each other, more like nerve agents and pretty horrid.
Good news, I understand your paranoia, just because you think they are out to get you, does not mean they are NOT out to get you or rob you.
Bob, Nolan, I can empathise, so far as I am able with your situations and stories. Our younger daughter has a similar story. She decided when aged about 5 that having children was not for her for a range of reasons. As she grew our range of reasons for NOT seeking to disabuse her of her position only grew longer. Since she can, at best, only deal with parts of her life, catering to the needs of anyone else is not a viable idea. While she is almost certainly aware of this issue, it does not really feature very highly on her list of objections, the space a the top of the list is already too crowded.
On a different part of the matter I was trying to work out my relationship to a long dead relation whom I knew. I remember her as powerful but not domineering presence in a room, with a deep, powerful voice and, before anyone wonders, yes she had three children. I was told she was one of the first women to drive in the area of Bristol, maybe in the city, though that had long since ceased to be something she continued to follow. Her husband died young from lung cancer leaving her to cope, though the residue of her father’s estate helped her cope. Though a one time dynamic powerful person who was used to ‘just coping’ a fall at home rendered her almost unable to cope with life, so she was never able to return to her home. The change was extreme, I guess she had just burned up her reserves of strength and resilience.
As you said Bob, the world is indeed full of a strange species in us, but that does not stop nature continuing to experiment and produce new variations, with many probably doomed to failure.
Bob. I found that an interesting and sympathetic account that showed both empathy and explained a great deal for you, about you and for us. I agree that there have always been those of less usual chromosome distributions. Though there is some dispute as to whether hormone disrupters now in the environment are contributing to any changes. Athletics is not the only place where the fuller spectrum of chromosomes can be found, prison populations, especially among the more violent segments have been said to show differences. Whether anyone accepts it or not, the world is full of bipeds which can be fitted into a range of different spectra, Asperger’s, Gender, Autism, musical capabilities and proclivities or choices, (in my case none and not many), Artistic abilities, navigational skills and so on. In some cases societies have reacted to be able to utilise the skills within special groups, artists, mathematicians and so on. For many the rub comes when the social interactions, wants or desires of a group collide with the attributes of some other. In some cases, the results can be more challenging for those affected e.g. Turners and many other body changing conditions.
Should a classification seeks to ‘gravel sort’ applicants, not on the basis of their ability at the pursuit but over some arbitrary pre-qualification that difficulties arise. If I need a trade’s person for example I am only interested if they can; (a) do the job the way I need it done (b) are clean and tidy (c) have reasonable charges, (e) can understand me and discuss the task in ways that I can understand, etc. I do not give a flying fig about any other aspect of their lives, though I might be less keen if they had some unpleasant side issues, e.g. cannibalism. Athletics and sports in general have evolved their own ‘gravel sorters’ though they are not alone, just look at the way female politicians are vilified, not on the basis of their political ideas, but because of their gender.
I am not interested in sports so it is not a touchy subject for me. I have worked with, managed and interacted with many thousands of people. All of whom must have fallen into one group or another without the need for me to ever know or want to know their physical, sexual, or any other aspect of their makeup. I have had blind, physically disabled and some with less visible disabilities, work for me. In some cases their sexual orientation was self evident, but so what, as long as it did not affect their work or our interactions? I only ever needed to consider any aspect of their makeup, if I needed to work round how their situation needed work place consideration, e.g. facilities for guide dogs, ensuring adequate verbal involvement, etc. as appropriate.
I still do not need to discuss whatever someone is; unless and until it directly affects me I do not care. Can I please encounter everyone on the basis of mutual respect on the basis of who rather than what we are? For me, don’t ask don’t prejudge is a good personal guide Let the evidence of my encounters with them be my guide to how we get on. So stick labels in the cesspit of unwanted goods. Nasty people are nasty people, whatever their skin colour, race, religion, orientation, gender, height, weight and so on.
All advertising is trying to sell stuff the want to shift to those who probably cannot afford to spend the money. Gambling is possibly the lowest form of the advertising/marketing industry that there can be. It is not only selling a non product that can be hugely addictive it also seduces with the false hope that losses can be recovered.
I find that this list is how a topic brings so many issues to light. I have sat on both sides of the Union/Management discussions usually in different meetings. It caused the odd raised eyebrow when I rolled in and sat down on the union’s side of the table;
What are you doing here?
Me
Representing my members just like you.
Generally both sides were usually in discussion mode, not warfare mode and wanted resolution not conflict so progress could be sought and usually won.
I am still in a super grumpy mood today having just had another hand operation yesterday; the surgeon’s comment ‘No wonder you wanted that fixed, your wife was right to insist you came’. This makes number 6, I should run out of fingers soon. Though I walked there and back, since driving after the procedure was not recommended, but being accompanied for a while was recommended. At least there was no rain or other issue.
It does go somewhere to explain why for us, all train travel is almost impossible and changing trains in London, with baggage is not possible. Air travel would be OK-ish, but attempts at forcing access via putrid transport make it difficult. My recent airport ‘experiences’ have been grim; one time the machine chewed up my boarding pass so I missed the flight… even though I took their machine apart and retrieved the remains; the next time boarding the flight was more akin to a scene from a gaol break B movie. It a great experience at all.I know Bob has nothing but praise for river cruising, but my SIL went with her father and husband. There were several issues that put me off. First was the need to fly to where the cruise started, the second was that the cruise company forgot to transfer them from the cattle station, sorry the airport where they arrived, to the boat. They did not mention too much about the dress for dinner part but I think that would have really gone down well with her, I would rather walk the plank! The other thing was that they made a lot of river stops and did a lot of walking about the place, really not for me, I have two speeds, a bit to fast for most people or sitting down, I cannot do standing about and I cannot do shuffling about looking at museums or whatever. It is just too painful. My wife cannot do either fast walking of the slow stuff either, well not for more than about 100 yards anyway. We did enjoy an ocean cruise twice and yes it was on a big boat. We only ever went to a ‘dress up dinner’ once. The rest of the time we went for the far nicer ‘don’t care’ option in a casual buffet eating place. The really great aspect was an easy drive to the port, drop off the cases, park the car and stagger aboard. No godawful airport with their ideas of security and long queues or the ‘compulsory shopping experiences’. However, I cannot stress too highly that if you get the right profile for you/your wife you can make it a great experience, but research first and choose what you will enjoy. There are a lot of options available and looking into the market is a big part of the enjoyment.
That is a good plan, flexible yet with a number of good outcomes. Returning briefly to my comment about job searching being a fast route to depression, clearly you would not be averse to a suitable offer at some point, that is good, pressing to get something ASAP is what I was thinking about. I left work at 56, the company was clearly failing and my main drive for a while had been to protect and build up my pension. It was a relief to leave and I saved a fortune in travel costs.
@dwynnehugh your 33050 goes a long way to highlight the special issues that so called ‘sex crimes’ bring up. That they are surrounded by so much emotional baggage makes them such a minefield for all; it is not just the main players, the public run emotions high and dangerously so. For this reason I totally agree with your proposal that names should only ever be revealed when the burden of proof has been met. I am aware that sometimes that burden is somehow bypassed and that some shady activities can also go on, witness the case of the person sued for damages who short circuited that process by making themselves bankrupt to avoid the consequences of a court action.
The case generated by the CPS to which I specifically referred was one in which a person burdened down with bags on his back and in his hands was alleged to put have put his hand up someone’s skirt. The claim was bolstered by a doctored video played at significantly reduced speed. This tainted ‘evidence’ was rejected by the court system. That an assault was probably committed was never disputed, that it was not likely to have been done by someone burdened down and apparently only ever within feet of the victim for parts of a second suggests that it was likely to have been someone else ,if it did in fact happen.
As far as I am aware both the age of consent and the rape laws had their origin in possession of goods and chattels, females having been considered as such in past generations and in some groups still are today. Rape ‘damaged’ a possession so had to be punished to protect the ‘property owner’. Age of consent was supposed to protect the family silver going to the result of an under age and probably illicit relationship and so a whole new blame and emotion industry was born.
For me it is far more simple; assault is assault and the victim needs the protection or even better restitution. Age of consent is a little more complex, in some cases both parties are so far as I have seen willing, in some cases undue pressure has been applied – though family pressure can subsequently create a false story to protect their little ‘treasure’. Note the idea of damaged possessions again. Thus then even if hard to prove in genuine cases, it is still a case of assault.
However, I am very uncomfortable that simple fumbling and exploring, even if it progressed ‘too far’ should really be a criminal matter with probably both parties getting an early criminal record. The other issue is that for some the AoC (16) is not really the ‘right time’. Some consider it too low for them, some consider it so far out of touch that they have done it all years before. Note: I am not in favour of over early activities, neither am I in favour of fire and brimstone threats, ‘though will not do anything like that under pain of fire and brimstone death’. Family support and carefully crafted guidance would be my preference. I did know several girls whose family support I later realised fell woefully short, though by that time they and I had moved far away from each other. However I realised that their actions had been leading them along risky pathways. I later wondered how things turned out for them. I last knew of them close to 60 years back, I hope things improved for their lives.
@dwynnehugh that had the very honest ring of truth and a totally correct assessment of how things should be. I always believed that evidence has no opinion it should be gathered and allowed to reveal its story clearly – including where gaps have been left. I understand your feelings and can only wish that some of the fit up brigade had not transferred to the Criminal Protection Squad, (the CPS). Some of whose publicly rejected fit ups sounded more suited to the keystone cops than even Hicksville USA.
John, (JCD?) put it very well when he said work out what works for you. So apart from a welcome from an old timer at the pensioner game, 17 years or so now, I do urge you to set yourself some sort of balanced plan. Plans can be yours to follow or change as needed,. However, no plan equals endless drift and you end up with a basket of life filled with the dross not wanted by others. Or and perhaps this happens anyway, a basket of medical issues. I will not advise you on job searching, that can be the fastest route to the black hole of depression, so just be yourself and plan to please yourself.
ED, Bob, I cannot but agree with both of you, with Bob getting the slight edge due to the highly personal and highly personal risk profile that attached. However, it does beg the question of how youngsters of either or whatever sex can be protected.
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