[Bob Williams]

That is one very rare consultant. I have just one like that out of all the <span style=”font-size: 14pt;”>Insultants</span> I have seen over the years. No coincidence that he is quite young, probably mid-thirties by now. Has a great SOH too, gets upset if I don’t have a new joke for him.

Pity my SWMBO: 3 times Grimsby have lost her complete file, a truly massive folder which probably has its own shelf. Fortunately she has one of the ‘Golden Oldie’ consultants. He snapped last time and gave several people grief, in person and on the phone. Folder appeared as if by magic. I believe that there are certain minor admin staff in the NHS who are unable to count their fingers and come up with  a correct answer.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Christian is, as christian does. Too many flavours of Christians and christians, they can’t all be right. :wacko:  :negative:

If all the god-botherers leave me alone, I will refrain from pointing out the many errors and outright falsehoods, in all the books they think of as the Truth.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

My way to stop that pooping  in wrong places Steve;

Pick an area where you want the dog(s) to do it. Remember that it’s not what you say, it’s the tone of voice. Point to the poop they just did and say “BAD!!!” in the voice they don’t like, you will know the one (or your youngest will!) Take the dog to the spot you want them to do it and say “Good dog/boy/girl, whatever you say when they have done something good, in whatever tone you use at the time they do good. Maybe a treat. Repetition does the rest, dogs are simple animals and it takes time for it to sink in – “Oh he likes that!” You can vary that by poop-scooping the original and taking it to the spot, more “Good.”

I have only hit any of my dogs in very exceptional circumstances. Loosely rolled newspaper or magazine, tap on the nose. Second most painful part of a dog’s anatomy: guess which is the most? Yep, canine’s testes. :yes:  😉 But waht really hurts them, is a “Bad!” followed by ignoring them for a bit. Worked every time for me.

Have to say that waking up with a monster GSD across our duvet, was never SWMBO’s idea of a threesome…. :unsure:  🙂 Although when I was young, I once woke up next to someone that – no, not going there.     :whistle:  :negative:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

I always had GSD’s: thanks for bringing that in John, I shied away from that acronym on previous MM posts, to save having to explain it! :scratch:

My Army dog Blue was a monster, brought up as a Attack dog, don’t think the Army trains them for that now. I used to wake in my bunk in whatever NI s****hole I was in at the time, to sense him, stood at the side of my bed and just staring at me. He was shot in NI, the Army made that my last tour because it gave me such a hatred of those scumbags. I still cannot see McGuiness or Anderson on TV, have to leave the room. I see McGuiness is suffering and very ill now, hope he lives a long time like that. I cannot help those feelings, I know too much about those people in those times. They were the Planners, the brains who sent others out to kill and maim. Blair should be ashamed of what he did, exactly the same appeasement as Chaimberlain in Munich, 1938.

I had another monster, JJ, when I was workshop foreman: boss/mate brought him to the garage one day and gave him to me. He wanted me to try to train an almost-grown GSD which had been badly treated, so much so that he hated everyone and everything. My boss had a farm and I ran the workshop. The adjacent farm was owned by a man who should never have been allowed to keep any animals. He kept the dog in a locked shed for days at a time with no food or water. JJ dug his way out  and killed a full-grown boar, ate some before running off to the boss’ farm. Boss brought him back, carrying his shotgun, pointed it up the other guy’s nose, put £50 on the table. “I’m buying the dog or your brains are on the ceiling!” He got the dog, made the guy sign a receipt. I got the result next day.

I don’t know why, might be a little of my training, but I have always been able to calm some temperamental dogs. There are some I never would approach, I sense something in them, usually it’s the older ones who have been abused and they are so set in their ways that the only real answer is permanent sleep. But I felt something about that dog, so I spent 2 weeks with him. I slept in a sleeping bag in the workshop; for 2 nights he would go to the other end and growl, 3rd night I woke up and he was asleep beside me. Last 3 nights, he was wrapped around the sleeping bag, and oh my, did he stink! Next day I gave him a bath with a bucket of soapy water and a hosepipe, dried him off with the air compressor on low. He loved that! Then he was mine and the bossman was p*****d off because he could do nothing with him. That dog loved me and I loved him. He would go home with me at times, loved my missus and my kids, still hated everyone else except the garage staff. Totally ignored the boss. Biggest GSD I ever had, I could get my whole hand on top of his skull, between his ears and space either side. He lived for 15 years, got arthritis in his rear hips, then in his front shoulders, could hardly walk. Boss’ lads and I had him put down on his favourite spot, a bank above the garage where he liked to sit in the sun. We buried him there, 3 grown men walking back down the bank, crying our eyes out. I never had another like him.

I am thinking about taking an old rescue dog, something small, Westie size. We have decided to just take UK self-catering holidays now, don’t like putting them in kennels. Lady next door has two white Westy girls, they are smashing dogs. Can’t handle anything big now, but walking a dog will give me more excuse to get out.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

I would agree with most of what you say Richard, and Ed. However, in stating the past mistakes of both America and the UK, we have to go back farther to examine the one initial step that cost control of the Gulf and with it, control and policing of the whole area. When the US played the ‘No More Colonising’ card and forced us out of Aden, the West lost a valuable asset which could have prevented the present mess, or at least given time for thought to a more long term solution. The UK government at the time were happy to give up Aden of course, but even Defence and Foreign Office warnings about future Soviet involvement fell on deaf ears. Sure enough, the Russians moved in, but all they wanted was a refueling station for their fleet, with no Hearts and Minds involved.

I left with (I believe) 45 Commando on HMS Bulwark. We watched as the demolition explosives left behind, burned up millions of pounds in munitions, POL, foodstuffs, clothing, machinery and vehicles. The cloud of thick smoke rose into the air for thousands of feet, it could be seen for miles. In that cloud were the remains of many local inhabitants, would-be looters who are probably still looking for the 27 virgins they were promised.

I also agree with Steve: if we had never gone blindly into the cockpit that is Iraq and Afghanistan, there would not be the mess there is today and we would not have the number of terrorists from so many different sources of discontent, that we have today. The UK and US have shot themselves in both feet.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Gloves, Nolan. There are others, but I found these to be best for me:    https://tinyurl.com/jln3984

They don’t cure it, nothing can. I am so sick of news items such as the Daily Express – <span style=”font-size: 18pt;”>”New Cure For Arthritis!”</span> – total BS, once the wear is in the joints, rheumatoid or osteo, that’s it. All you can do is alleviate pain and find something that helps limb and hand function. I get out of bed to all kinds of clicks, creaks and groans, meditate for a while, get on with the day.

Works for me, all you can do is find a solution that helps best. Do you have blue veins showing in the finger knuckles? I get little blue lumps (tiny clots) which are really painful, like needles until I can massage them out. Good luck with the meds.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Les this is what I was using at my Nottinghamshire Technical school from 1956 to ’61:

A Harrison L2, probably about a 1950 model:   https://tinyurl.com/gkvoekq

Scroll down to image No.8 for the L2. I once had a pic of a grinning little barmpot (me) at 12 yo, standing by the one I was working on with my old tutor, a fine old engineer called Clem Marriott. In those days, they would let us loose from the age of 11 onto lathes, pedestal drills. milling machines and even a forge. Elfin Safety did not exist then. They had to make raised areas at the side of the machines, for shortasses like me! I learned so much at that school, made all kinds of stuff. Kids today are missing so much, probably why we are not producing enough engineers in the UK.

Great video, you still have the North Staffs. accent! 🙂

 

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Anyone here who has not got the last copy: I have two. PM me if you want one.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

:yahoo: 🙂

Not Another Irish Joke, no…

Ireland’s Worst Driver – Mr Prawo Jazdy
This is one of the funniest examples of police humour.

To be sure, your man Prawo Jazdy is a slippery fellow.  He’s wanted for 50 different driving offences all over Ireland.  Now, Prawo is clever because every time we book him, his driving licence has a different address.  Every man in the Garda has a different theory about how this ‘Scarlet Pimpernel’ escapes the clutches of the law.  Finally, the penny dropped, Prawo Jardy is not a Hungarian name, but the Polish words for Driving Licence.

The Garda had caught 53 different Polish drivers, but thought they were dealing with the same man.  Naturally, the Polish community in Ireland are having a good laugh about Mr Prawo Jazdy.  :scratch:  :yahoo:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Wow Lee that is proper old machinery, my son has an old milling machine in his workshop/shed/mancave. Don’t know what it is, I’ll have to have a look at the thing next time I’m there. He also has converted a small old lathe of some sort into a pedestal drill, my lad is a proper self-made tinkerer and has ideas that he stews over for ages, then just builds or converts and they work. Which is a lot like I used to do when I worked. My eldest brother (17 years between us) had me working with him on bikes and cars on our backyard from about 7 or 8 years old. It’s always what I wanted to do and I miss it still, engines and machinery always pulled me in. That’s what made me an aircraft tech in the army Air Corps and a change of direction into vehicles when I came out. my hands and arms struggle to hold anything now.

You would get on well with my lad, he builds and shows Stationary Engines with my grandson. Whenever I go there at weekends they are both in the shed or outside running some old lump of pre-war stuff, don’t know how they both manage in that shed as it is crammed full of engines, benches are covered in machines and tools, overspill on the floor. And my gson is a monster, huge lad who thinks it’s fun to pick up dad and carry him over his shoulder. And dad is not small. Bonkers, my lot. :wacko:  :yahoo:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

I have a weird sleep routine: I never go before 1 am as I just cannot sleep, have to be cream-crackered so that I just put my head down and go. Very occasionally, I drop off in the sofa, SWMBO nudges me and I go to bed. Might be 7, 8, 9 pm, I just zonk out. Then I wake at some daft hour and I am really awake. So I get up, get dressed, leave a note, get the car out and just drive. No particular direction, I just take the turns that interest me. I have seen some sights at daft 0′ clock, I can tell you. Some times I drive to a spot I know and watch the sun come up over the North Sea, on a clear morning that is fantastic, makes me feel great. Drive home, maybe into my son’s village, annoy him by banging around his kitchen making tea and waking him up.

SWMBO says she will have me committed one day. I’ve told the grandkids not to believe a word she says….. 🙂

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

All the causes Lee puts forward, plus perhaps a mounting bracket or strap. Sometimes a tiny blob of weld from manufacturing.

Lee, were you a spanner-swinging grease monkey, or just an amateur doing his own servicing? Could have done with a 10-minute exhaust fitter in my old workshop. A couple of the winkers I had over the years took 10 minutes just to pick up an exhaust and carry it to the ramp. Taking time off from another job to do it myself, I was pretty quick, depending on the vehicle. Air wrenches and powered hacksaws to remove the old system.

Steve I never had that from any of my Fords… B-)

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Buy it, keep it, frame it for posterity. :whistle:  😉

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Steve I read that about Soros, I also read his previous a few days ago concerning Brexit, in which he said it was the worst thing for UK banking and investments. Translation of that is that: – it is the worst thing for George Soros. The bloke has more money than he knows what to do with and cannot believe it does not give him the power to affect the decisions of world leaders. Have you seen the latest pictures of him?    https://tinyurl.com/hhc5xw4

Looks like his money has done nothing for his state of mind or his personality. All the charisma of a stuffed toad. “As a student at the London School of Economics…” Well, we know what a hotbed of lefty and anarchist protest movements that is – how did that produce a Super-Capitalist? Take a look at this:

https://tinyurl.com/zcgpdcn

Or how about this:     https://tinyurl.com/j3792uh

The only interest of George Soros, is George Soros. Someone should tell him that he really cannot take it with him, and it isn’t too long before he may have to discover that for himself. His funeral procession will either be on Wall Street or Tel Aviv.

The US election finally convinced me that the American voter is completely divorced from reality, and so are both political parties. How can a powerful nation of 320 million people, be given a straight choice between a ratbrained female warmonger, and a man whose elevator does not reach the upper floors? How can the Democrats and Republicans decide upon such choices?

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

It was indeed Fiddlers Dram: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=T8WiPy1xSkw

And it was Maggie Reilly.

Memory spike by onboard biological computer. :wacko:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Steve I would have said a few weeks ago that your last was a pessimistic view, but I can’t say that today. The two most powerful world leaders, Trump and Putin, are clearly unpredictable, immune to criticism and totally convinced in their own invulnerable right to choose the course that their people should take. I am convinced that both of them have found in each other the same megalomania. The problems are really going to begin when China wakes up to the fact that the USA and Russia are going to oppose them together.

I think the world is much more dangerous now than say, a month ago.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Ther are many female researchers working in AI now. What if a female A.I is created?

I just frightened myself. :negative:  :bye:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

You may be right about the Thyroid suspicion Lee, but ther could be another cause:   https://tinyurl.com/h4rnu2g

My SWMBO suffered from over-active Thyroid problems for years, she had the radiation treatment to kill most of the problems. Now she swings from over- to underactive. Overactive doesn’t last long (thankfully) and she becomes absolutely manic, has to find something to do, metabolism speeds up, loses weight, becomes Mrs. Hyde. Everything is a crisis, have to tiptoe around her, careful with words. I have seen her throw one of her 1,000-piece Jigsaws across the room. Terrifying, from a normally placid little lady. Mostly it’s underactive: no energy, eveything too much trouble, CBA with any activity, puts on weight, always hungry. Has Thyroxin tablets every morning and night.

My eldest gson the Aspergers sufferer, also has those swings from under- to overactive. He has medication, but his overactive spells result in a racing heartbeat and panic attacks. What we originally feared about his future, was that he would be unable to cope with life and would have to keep an eye on him concerning that. However, he has a really good job and his own flat, looks after himself well and has a good life: but the whole family take turns in visiting him, checking his medication, closely watching him for signs of overactive symptoms. Best helper there is his younger cousin my other gson: they get on great and he knows what to look for.

Hope you get this sorted Lee, but don’t worry too much about Forumite for now. If you have to leave it alone for a bit, we will all understand. Get to the Doc’s and get some help.

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

I am very much in the same camp as John Davies regarding Sky. “SWMBO Friendly” says it all John, thanks for that;)

Whenever there is a Sky service hiccup, and until the last month there were several, there is an outcry from the lounge which can often be heard even in the garden. I eventually made the mistake of downloading and printing enough Sky Help Topics to make a manual. Big Error! Now I have to explain the home made manual as well… :unsure:  :wacko:

Today SWMBO learned from MSN, the site that she seems to believe is an Oracle of truth, that Sky are putting up prices in March. Instead of reading the whole report, she presented me with the intention that we should contact Sky and cancel the whole shooting match: TV, Box sets, Cinema, broadband, Talk and calls. On investigation, I learned that it was just the line rental price, up from £17.49 to £18.99 per month. As I already know from bitter experience, the “Sky Experts” number is an automated Q & A service which does nothing to answer a real query and is actually harmful to my state of mind. I learned early in my contract that these are the 2 best numbers to call if I need a human conversation and eventual results: 03300 412 558 is the “human” Experts Line, and for broadband: 0330 332 3037.  I hate the automated Q&A line with a real passion, it can send me into a rage. The human ‘expert’ was quite helpful and explained what I already knew: that BT leased the lines to Sky and we are all aware that BT have seen their share price nosedive as a result of the accounting shenanigans with their Mexican subsidiary.

I discovered an interesting fact about my Sky account. If the account has all component Sky Services billed as one package, and one or more service(s) is/are increased in price, the account holder may cancel the contract without penalties. So I sent an email to Sky, received Email confirmation that this was true, and immediately requested written confirmation of the fact. Now, I am not saying I will cancel and I was very careful to state that I was considering cancellation, but that is a choice I can make. I am already aware that BT raising line rental will cause all other ISP’s to do the same, and I think BT’s losses may mean further price rises down the line, so I will be cautious about this. This is not over. 🙁  :unsure:

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Bob Williams]

Wasn’t that Maggie Oldfield? Or am I wrong again?

When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.

[Author]

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