@bullstuff2
Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
Nail on the head, Steve.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.The world ends in a massive meteor strike and there is a huge queue at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter is going crackers trying to sort it out, so he separates men from women into two queues first, then addresses the men: “I want two lines of men,” he says “On the right here, all men dominated by their women. On the left there, all men who dominated their women.”
After much shuffling around, St. Pete is amazed to see just one man in the left line. “Well done that man! Now tell all the other men how you managed to dominate your wife!”
“What’s to tell?” says the man, “My wife told me to stand here!”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A butler dies, turns up in Hell for his sins and is surprised to see the Lord of his stateley home turn up there after some weeks.
“My Lord, what are you doing here?”
“I lied, cheated and stole to pay the debts incurred by my playboy son.” replies the Lord. “What happened to get you down here?”
“I’m here for fathering your son.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Tomorrow is 29 years to the day I buried my dad: it was a Wednesday, raining steadily all day. Mam was under a huge umbrella in a wheelchair and 8 months away from her own death after 40+ years of Angina and several heart attacks. The grave was at the bottom of the second highest hill in Nottinghamshire and it was a heck of a job getting her down and back up that steep hill. Dad had told me to give him a burial, mam wanted him cremated, I made sure he got his wish. All through the burial, mam kept moaning in the Potteries accent that never left her since she left in 1926, “Dunna put Eem in the grouwnd, dunna put Eem in the grouwnd.” My big brother had died on the 17th of February in the same year as dad, 1988, and was buried at the top of the hill. 6 months prior to that, I lost my favourite uncle to Leukemia and his wife my equally favourite aunt, died of a heart attack at the gates of the church where the service was to be held. You just cannot ever forget some periods in your life like those times.
11 days later I met my lovely SWMBO. Between the service and mam’s death on a lovely, sunny day in February, mam realised I think, that she could let go and hand over the reins to someone who could keep me on the straight and narrow. So it proved.
It will be 43 years ago on this September 7th, to the day I joined the Army.
That’s my looking back: some of it might sound a bit morbid, but it’s just life. And death. It happens.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Steve, our landlord was great when it was just a local East Lindsey trust. Then it changed name twice and became a charitable Trust. Then it was amalgamated into a massive group: Waterloo Housing Group. Because the old New Linx Housing Trust had a Direct Labour setup and the Waterloo Group had none, they found themselves in the driving seat. What followed was a move from Louth to Solihull, Birmingham by all the Lincolnshire admin staff and they wound up in charge of the whole Group. Now we have a situation where only the Repair & Maintenance workforce are here in Lincs, with all their transport, materials and tools. If we need R&M repairs, we either phone and wait, or use the world’s clunkiest website to report issues. I have made several complaints about the website and phone service, all of which were ignored. Yesterday I made a call to the head of R&M and blew my top, stating that I was writing to the Housing Minister with copies of my emails and letters, and their replies, which include several dated references to answers in “10 working Days”. All of which have expired. I was not aggressive or obnoxious, kept my voice down, but let them know they were in trouble if they did not sort things out.
The workmen are great, some have been on the books for years and all are good, competent, reliable workers. But they are not supported by their absent bosses. Bearing in mind that this was Sheltered Housing and at 72 I am one of the youngest here, this is the after-hours routine for emergencies:
We have a pull-cord system which used to go to the HQ in Louth and was answered quickly. Now it goes to Chubb Security in Leeds. They pick up (sometimes takes over an hour) listen to the problem and then transfer to Solihull. Solihull then talks to the tenant, which can be an 80 or 90 yo Lincolnshire senior, trying to understand a Brummie or Asian accent. If it is an electrical, plumbing or other domestic emergency, Solihull calls out one of the workers and a van. They will be here in Lincs. It’s a bloody farce, you could not make it up. If we did not love the lcation, we would not be here.
Sorry about the Rant, feel better now. Well, a bit.???
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Sorted! Scanned the pages with my name and Service Record, accepted. A Pension document will be OK too.
Just looked at my Record, first time for years. I was a bad lad too many times, wish I could go back to 1964 and warn that daft young soldier…
Probably would take no notice of this oldphart.??
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Just been bounced back for the Privilege Card. I scanned and sent my 41 year old Discharge Book, got a Stock answer, having another go: –
We are not able to approve your application quite yet. Do not worry this may be for a number of reasons. We require you to upload a document that proves you have been involved in the services.
1) If you have uploaded a photo of yourself we are unable to approve these and require as mentioned above a copy of ID or other similar papers. We require this form of validation to ensure that the members holding the cards are correctly qualified for the service and this is part of the conditions set by some companies offering discounts and also the Ministry Of Defence.
2) You have uploaded a pension paper that does not say Armed Forces Pension. Please note pension service provide a number of private and public pensions and therefore if uploading a pension notice, please ensure Armed Forces Pension is visible.
3) If you are a family member a document that shows your family members relationship to the forces.
4) You are a cadet and you have uploaded your documents, please ensure that your National Insurance number and name and date of birth are visible.
5) You may have accidentally uploaded the incorrect file when selecting this from your computer.
6) You may have uploaded the correct ID but it may be missing identifiable information such as your name. Please check your ID does include this information.You can re-upload your ID again in the same way you did before and if you have any further questions or problems please do not hesitate to contact us by replying to this email.
Think it might be because my name & other details not showing, scannd wrong pages! Brainfart! Trying again.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Enjoy the cruise and the beer Dave, I remember it well. I love Austria, but mostly visited the Innsbruck/Tyrol area. I used to use the local buses, always bought a 7 – or 5 – day ticket for unlimited travel. Beautiful scenery, gorgeous villages, we used to get off at any village we liked the look of. Being able to speak the language was a big help, as we were among rural people, who gave us a fantastic welcome. I always appreciated how much respect and good feeling there was for the UK there. Local food in the non-tourist Gasthofs and Gasthausen, was much plainer, but much tastier, than the tourist places. The beer and wine was always good, but the local Schnapps and Obst Schnapps, dangerous! We once went to an Alpine Fire Station party half way down the mountain. No idea how I got back to the hotel.
My favourite place was Igls, in the mountains above Innsbruck. We could get on a cable car and go up to the Patscherkofel:
http://www.patscherkofelbahn.at/en#summer
Or catch a choice of bus or tram, down to the city of Innsbruck.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Can’t believe that Steve, I’m 72 and have never forgotten mine. Yet…
If I ever start forgetting the number that was grooved into my brain over 12 years, I will know something unwanted is happening in the attic.
Maybe time to get your head checked out, you need more memory. ??
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Ed that is another regulation that my landlord appeared to know nothing about, I had to inform them and force them to carry out the work. As they are one of the biggest Social Housing groups in the country, with their own Direct Labour, that was disgusting. But not surprising.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Yes Drezha, £4.99 for the Privilege Card, which lasts 5 years, not bad is it?
Dave, as you once worked with/for the MOD I am sure you would qualify. Check it out – https://www.defencediscountservice.co.uk/
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.The control for my electric shower is a ‘Pull’ switch, from the ceiling, about 18″ across horizontally, maybe 2 feet vertically, from the actual shower, in our Wet Room. If this is illegal, knowing our incompetent Housing Association landlord, I am not surprised. Who else fits a Riser Bar pole, rising about 3 feet from the shower head position? If scrap prices were not so poor now, I would cut off 3 feet and sell it!
Come to think of it, I might have a use for it…. Now where is my stepladder and hacksaw? #There may be trouble ahead … #
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Google has me in Nottingham today. (I’m at home in my Lincs village, at least 65 miles from the city.)
Yesterday I was apparently in Doncaster, when I was actually in Cleethorpes, gazing across the Humber at what would have been the Yorkshire bank, obscured by a long brown smudge and haze. What were you guys burning, Lee and Doc Yorkie? ??
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.^^^^^^
???
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Ed, I got that problem a while back. resolved it by first going to Film/Music/whatever first, then opening New Topic.
An interesting find though Ed! Just when I get used to using a good digital camera and a phone camera, some smartass moves the goalposts!
I thought my titchy Sony Cybershot DSC-WX220, was the striped insect’s patellas at (9 x 5.4 x 2) cm. (without lens out) Seems almost Victorian now!
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.No technical information from me atm, as Electrician No.2 gson is away at a Stationary Engine Show with dad.
Just that I have the opposite problem to yours BL: in the bungalow, we have a Wet Room. I cannot get in and out of a bath due to my spinal problem, and I have a skin/lymph system problem which prevents me bathing that way anyway. I need to use Hibiscrub (pink stuff surgeons use to Scrub up) and cannot lie in bathwater, have to rinse off as I wash from top down doing the whole thing twice.
Our village lies below the Wolds and is only just above sea level. Anglian Water gets to us at a fearsome pressure and I had to turn the Restrictor down a bit or face losing layers of epidermis! As it is, I still get really good pressure for my shower, but every time I finish, I turn it down even more, or listen to a scream from SWMBO when she uses it! We cannot turn on taps anywhere in the house, more than halfway.
There is a huge Aquifer under our village, an Anglian Water Station about 150 yards down the road, and an old village pump by the Church, which I am told could still be made to work. But as Bob Dylan wrote and sang, “the pumps don’t work cause the vandals took the handles” –(‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’). The vandals being the old Waterboard.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.TBH I’m a little paranoid about tracking apps and so I have my location turned off.
Why is that, Keith? Doesn’t bother me at all if Google or any other tech service tracks me. In fact, as I get older and more of my grey matter dies, I am happy to know that as many people as possible, know where I am!
Sometimes I struggle to know my location, myself. ?
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.“500 alternatives to Teleflip“, not tried any of them, just found it, marked July 1st 2017 so it’s a current list: –
Happy scrolling! ???
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.The problem is that ‘Travellers’ today are not the Real Deal, they are parasites who have somehow ended up with more Human Rights and benefits (with Benefits!) than the rest of us who pay our dues. Then they either do not travel enough, or travel to the wrong places, then stay and the crime rate local to their illegal temporary site, goes up. Along with the piles of rubbish, fouled ground and abandoned krap.
There is an Industrial Site to the north of Louth, which is home to some old and new businesses of all kinds and sizes, including the IT company where my No.1 gson works. It is expanding all the time and has brought a lot of employment to the area of East Lindsey. Last year, one of the sites planned for a big trucking firm was empty and awaiting the start of building. Dozens of travelling tossers moved in and several businesses suffered break ins. I cannot tell you here exactly how it was done, but all the companies got together and cleared the site over a weekend. It had been decided that waiting for legal action was a waste of time, so large numbers of trucks and heavy agricultural machinery were utilised in a peaceful protest which resulted in an empty site. Empty that is, apart from a broken down truck, (stripped of anything remotely useful) 2 dead dogs, a pile of used nappies and other similar effluvium.
Police and bailiffs turned up on the Monday, to find no one to accept the papers served upon them.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.Having had a German family and “lived – out” of barracks in Germany for almost 8 years, I once had an insight into several faces of the German character. From my ex-SS camp guard FIL, who had a personality dipped in dung and glossed over with pond slime, to the many good friends I made, being accepted as outside the ‘normal’ squaddie person.
I also visited Bergen-Belsen and I toured Dachaü at the same time as a group of German schoolchildren, part of a scheme which saw kids bussed in as part of their education from all over the country. British kids may go on Outward Bound or Duke of Edinburgh trips: they were taken to these camps. The result is a whole nation that feels a collective guilt, 72 years after WWII. Even the latest generation feels that guilt. It seems to me that this is just ridiculous, I don’t believe they should pass on the “sins of their fathers”, or in this case, grandfathers and great-grandfathers. Were it otherwise, we Brits would have a heck of a lot to feel guilty about.
It is never realised in Britain today, but if Lord Halifax and Oswald Mosley had their way in 1940, we would probably have seen the British Empire fighting alongside the Germans against the Soviet Union. The world would have been a very different place. Hitler is on record as stating that he did not want to go to war with Britain, and he wanted to preserve the British Empire.
BL, I have the same Churchill 6-Volume set Of the Second World War.
If any of you would like to learn what life in immediate post-war Germany was like, read “Thine Enemy” by Philip Gibbs. Long out of print, but second-hand copies are still available in some bookshops. It is an eye-opener. It also explains why the German people are so keen to keep the EU working. And why they were initially mourning the UK leaving: now they are beginning to turn another face towards us.
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out.I think Bobs calling me a pikey! Now you know why I cropped it at Holyhead
Never mind Dave, my Gran was a Real Romany! Born in a Romany van somewhere in the West Country in 1878, no birth Cert, never registered, but her mum & dad never let her forget the date.
So I am the one here with the Pikey blood!
Yer all Gawjos! ?
When the Thought Police arrive at your door, think -
I'm out. -
AuthorPosts