Dave was down at the sea in Weston the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
He phoned the local gym and asked if they could teach him how to do the splits. They said, “How flexible are you?” and he said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
Then he went into a shop and said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” So Dave said, “Where is he?”
His mate asked him “What do you think of voluntary work?? and Dave said “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.”
Dave told me the barman in his local is so lazy that he has a smoke alarm with a snooze button.
Dave rang up British Telecom, and said “I want to report a nuisance caller”, they said “Oh no ! Not you again”.
Never trust an atom - they make up everything !
